Transit Constable Daniel Dickhout has been suspended for two days after the inappropriate removal of a Taser from trousers to shock a fleeing SkyTrain fare evader. The Police Complaints Commissioner ruled that the use of the Taser was unjustified, but did not view it as an incident of gross misconduct, The Globe reports.

Nowhere to go but up for the embattled Christy Clark, The Globe suggests. Polling alongside the upstart Conservatives, fresh off two by-election drubbings at the hands of the NDP, and with the Premier’s approval ratings in a free-fall, there’s little room to slump further.

 A young woman has fallen to her death while hang-gliding near Agassiz, The Sun reports.

CBC Radio 3 host Stephen Quinn offers up an imaginary audio walking tour, highlighting the great civic blunders of our time: freeway ramps to nowhere, two-toned skyscrapers, dysfunctional public toilets and free access to SkyTrain.

Police are warning Metro residents of a possible escalation in violence after well-known drug trafficker Tom Gisby was executed in a Mexican Starbucks, The Sun reports.

BORED AT WORK BONUS: I Think You’re Fat