How, though, do their infamous bonanzas of flesh and debauchery help to achieve these aims? On October 23, I set out to the Party’s sixth annual Masquerade Ball to learn more.

Ascending the stairs past coat check, I was greeted on the main floor by a woman in a fishnet bodysuit and strategically placed condom packages, as well as a man in a gold lamee skirt giddily flashing his manhood. “The body painting competition will begin in fifteen minutes,” the announcer onstage declared; then, “The first naked person to run towards me and hug me gets a free beer.” Cheers erupted as the stage was flooded with flapping and glittering bodies.

On the main floor three dance halls bumped with music and theatrical performances. The action in the largest was inspired by East Vancouver’s C. R. Avery Band, who provided rousing tunes and energy to match the fervor of the packed auditorium. To one side of the dancing, a man in a salmon costume tirelessly attempted to distribute anti-fish farming pamphlets to an indifferent crowd sporting unnaturally dilated pupils.

Deciding that these event tables were my best choice for learning about the Party’s mandate, I crossed the dance floor to explore one table labeled “Spank Bank”, where for a dollar I was presented an array of spanking implements ranging from a wooden spoon to the Holy Bible. As each new object met my rear with a thwack, I wondered at the political correlation. My notebook ready to record further investigation, I moved on to the XOX Tent, where a woman whispered into the ear of a seated participant while another delicately kissed his forehead, cheeks, and hands.

The gold lamee flasher stopped for an interview as he exited the XOX Tent, his face frozen in a wide grin. A regular attendee at WLP events, he continues to come because “everyone is so open and accepting of one another.” He compared the event to Burning Man, with a similar focus on developing supportive networks within a community; “it’s just about sharing and love,” he explained. With another flash of his genitals, he disappeared into the gyrating crowd.

Up four floors I discovered the rooftop dungeon, where I was met by the shrieks and giggles of a voluptuous woman reveling in the aggressive spanks provided by a man in medieval attire. In the opposite corner, a bumblebee had lowered his pants and pressed himself against a windowed wall as another of the medieval torture crew whipped his exposed skin. This being his second WLP party, Bumblebee was happy that the Masquerade Ball was similar to the first he had experienced. Ordinarily preferring to engage in this kind of sexual exploration in private, he noted that “the safe environment and community vibe here legitimize the act. It’s a comfortable atmosphere, and makes this kind of thing feel acceptable, like it doesn’t need to be hidden.”

According to a man introducing himself as Charles Dickens, “there is no other party of this size and this many options for entertainment in the city.” Dickens says that “the colourful cast of characters” is something he looks forward to at each WLP event, though “most people here don’t really seem to care about the political side.”

Party Coordinator Conrad Schmidt admits that the purpose of the political party is “not to win elections but rather to raise awareness and fund local community initiatives,” with events like the De-Growth Film Festival benefiting from funds collected at the Masquerade Ball.

Deciding that the sold-out event was far too much fun for any more serious journalism, I melted into the pulsing dance floor, intending to complete the story over the following workweek. However, fruitless phone calls and emails, and an uneventful visit to the party’s office (which has apparently moved since the website was last updated), provided no further answers to my questions.

Left with souvenirs of flavoured condoms and a derriere decorated in bruises, I concluded that the most apt explanation for the WLP’s events had been the one offered by a sparkle-clad fairy: bouncing at my side with dime-sized pupils, she smiled, “Dude, the party’s mandate is to party!”

For more information about the political party and upcoming events, visit www.worklessparty.org.